FIXIN’ TOILETS ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY – BALONEY

The guru on the late night TV cable said it was easy as pie to become a millionaire buying real estate. He said you don’t even need any money for the down payment. I musta dozed off because I can’t remember if he ever told us how.

What caught my attention however; was a stem warning to his audience –­”Don’t ever allow yourselves to become landlords”, he told us. “You’ll end up fixin’ toilets in the middle of the super bowl!” Wow, what are odds for that happening!

Years ago, watching Jackie Gleason and Art Carney on the popular TV show; “The Honeymooners”, I learned that toilets are flushed 14 times a day on average! Now Mr. Carney understood toilets ’cause he spent his whole career working 5 days a week in the sewer pipes. Based on Carney’s flushing knowledge, I quickly applied some mathematics to my own rental properties. At the time, I owned 186 units, apartments and duplexes – 12 with two toilets each, all flushing every day. When you multiply 198 toilets by 14 daily flushes, you’ve got twirling water 2772 times a day. That breaks down to 115 flushes per hour, which means my tenants are pulling the handles two times every single minute.

The point is – I know about flushin’ toilets just about as well as anyone. Not only that, but I’ve been personally involved fiddlin’ with toilets for nearly 50 years now! In fact, I probably have more toilet seniority than Mr. Carney! In all my flushing years, I’ve never once been called out to fix a toilet during the super bowl. Can you just imagine the odds? So from my point of view, the TV guru on my cable channel is completely full of baloney. I’m even thinkin’ about getting’ a new cable. Let me say this loud and clear, especially to all the new investors who read this — There’s nobody fixin’ toilets on Super Bowl Sunday. That would be totally sacrilegious! Don’t you agree?

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